Speech Writing Tips
Having made it through the ceremony you now face having to give that all important wedding speech. For many people speaking in public is the ultimate fear while others consider being in the spotlight their rightful place and crave any audience. However most guys fear having to write a Groom’s speech.
The Groom’s speech is given 2nd, after the father of the bride and before the best man.
This is possibly the most important speech you’re ever going to give in your life. There are so many people to thank, special mentions to give, words to your new family, the special words you want to give your blushing bride on the most important day of her life. And then there is the small matter of getting a few shots in at your best man before he gets up and does his best to get the room laughing at your expense.
But don’t panic just yet. Here are a few tips to getting that speech just right.
Timing
At many weddings the father of the bride’s has been known to drag out a bit, well it’s only fair, he is the one that laid out all the cash so that a load of relatives he doesn’t like and strangers he’s never met and will probably never meet again can have a free meal and party at his expense. The really comedy element traditionally comes from the best man but that doesn’t mean your speech should be completely humourless or too short, after all you have a lot of people to mention. The perfect length of the Groom’s speech is about 7 minutes.
Language
Swearing is a big “no no”. Just don’t do it. Remember this will be a very mixed crowd.
Jokes
The same goes for any gags you use, what might seem really funny to you, your best man and all your mates down the bar on a Friday night might not be the kind of thing that’s going to amuse the bride’s grandparents. If you are undecided about whether something is too close to the knuckle then its best to err on the side of caution.
Is There Anything I Have To Include?
In your speech it customary to thank the bridesmaids, ushers, pageboys etc and offer a toast to the bridesmaids. Also thank those that have helped in anyway towards the wedding preparations. One other very important thank you is to both mothers.
Most Groom's include a brief thank you to the venue and wedding organisers.
Of course you know your best man well but not everyone might have met him so give him a brief introduction and include why you picked him as your best man.
It is also normal to mention members of the bride’s family and your own siblings.
Don’t Forget The Bride
Believe it or not this does happen and we have witnessed first hand grooms who after thanking everyone, delivering their speech and sitting down suddenly shoot back up onto their feet having just remembered they ought to mention their new wife! And also remember that you are speaking on her behalf as well.
Don’t Gush
When its time to be sincere don’t go overboard. It is nice to give some kind words and say what a great mate the best man is or how much you love your new wife but you don’t want to come over like a blubbing girl.
The Basic Phases
The perfect Groom’s speech can be broken down into the following phases (and there are a lot of “Thank you’s”;
- Opening. Thank your new father in law for his speech and for the bride’s family for welcoming you. If you can try to get in a quick gag during the opening of your speech to relax yourself and your audience.
- The formal bit. Thank the bridesmaids, ushers, etc and propose a toast to the bridesmaids. Compliment the bride’s parents on the great day and their hospitality. Thank the mothers.
- Parents. Thank your parents for making you the man you have become (this also helps shift some of the blame!).
- Introduction. Tell people a little of how you and your new wife first met and the journey you have taken that has brought you to this moment.
- The Best Man. Thank your best man and if you can warn your audience about the gags you know he’s about to shoot at you. This is your chance to draw first blood.
- Your Bride. You should reserve the last words of your speech to declare publicly how your bride has made you feel today, what she means to you and thank her for all she is soon going to have to put up with.
Delivering The Perfect Groom’s Speech
Despite the temptation drinking before you speech give will not help calm the nerves. No one wants to see the Groom swaying as he stands or looking noticeably drunk (which happens surprisingly often). If you do feel the need of something to give you Dutch courage keep it to a minimum.
Relax. Everyone there is hoping for a great speech and willing you to do well, they are a friendly audience who are on your side. Take a deep breath to steady yourself.
Even if you feel your mouth getting dry don’t keep taking sips of water, this will only let people know how nervous you are and this could make them nervous.
Keeping your speech printed out is a good idea as you have so many people to thank and its vital you don’t forget any of them but use it as a reference rather than something to hide behind or simply reading it word for word off the page.
Cue cards are a good idea, they are easier to hold and you can simply highlight the relevant points or gags.
Make eye contact, don’t get so lost in reading that you forget to look at your audience.
Speak loudly and clearly. Try not to rush through your speech, give pauses for the laughter (hopefully in the right places), don’t be afraid to acknowledge anyone who shouts out but you’re not a stand up comic so best to avoid any witty put-downs or ad-libs. And make sure you are speaking loudly enough for everyone to hear you.
Practise makes perfect so practise reading your speech aloud as much as possible and if you’re still worried about it read it out to someone else for their opinion or to help give you any tips.
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