Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew

Most guys own three pairs of shoes, tops. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair of shoes to wear with that dress?


Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument against us. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.


If you think you “look fat in this” you probably do, do not ask us we refuse to answer.


Birthdays, valentines and anniversaries are not quests to find the perfect present yet again.


If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to expect an answer you don’t want to hear.


Do not ask us what we are thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as, belly button fluff, the Broncos defense and the new Ford 4x4.


Saturday = sports. It’s like the full moon, the changing of the tides, just let it be.


Shopping is NOT a sport.


When we’re running late already absolutely anything you wear is fine.


You have enough clothes; you have far too many shoes.


But your ex-boyfriend was a dickhead.


Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one; subtle hints do not work, strong hints do not work, obvious hints do not work. Just say it!


No, we do not know what day it is. Mark anniversaries clearly on a calendar or tattoo them onto our foreheads.


If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry then we meant the other one.


Let us ogle; we’re going to look anyway.


Either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best then you do it.


Whenever possible please say what you have to say during the commercials.


Sir Walter Raleigh never stopped and asked for directions and neither will we.


Women wearing low cut tops and wonder-bras lose their right to complain about men looking at their boobs.


Yes we love you but sometimes we are not thinking about you. Its really not that big a deal.


Men only see in 16 different shades like Windows default settings. Peach is not a color neither is terracotta and we have no idea what mauve is.


If it itches it will be scratched. We do that.


Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.


We are not mind readers and never will be. Our lack of telepathy is not an indication of how little we care.


If we ask what is wrong and you say “Nothing” then we will assume that nothing is wrong. That’s how conversation works!!!



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